whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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