Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
