So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
