what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
