The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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