I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
