I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
