we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
