I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
