what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
