Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
