it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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