awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
