He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drunk is not a location!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
