Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
