didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
