You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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