I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
