She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
