I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Be still, my beating vagina.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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