accomplished twins. life is a go
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
