I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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