shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
