Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
