Dual....:-)
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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