whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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