woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
