Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
