I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
