pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i dont even know how to be here
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
