the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
