There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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