Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
