You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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