is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
