dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
love makes seman taste better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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