I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
my liver is dry heaving
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
