You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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