I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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