Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm too high and old for this...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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