porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
