Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
