How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
