My friends, they love my intelligence
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
