Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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