she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
