Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
