do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
