Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
