Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
