Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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