Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
