Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
