Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
