You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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